I am a perpetual student of beliefs, discoveries and theories about the esoteric and I do divinations. Since I believe in a variety of things, I may share a few of your beliefs but I also have a few others. My thoughts are just thoughts. I'm not trying to tell you what to feel or do.
Thought about this when watching a rerun of the old Friday the 13th TV show. This one featured a female fertility doctor who was a druid and was plumb full of misinformation about the druids. There is no evidence that the druids practiced human sacrifice, for instance, and, as Cernunos is a male fertility deity, it would seem odd that he would want males sacrificed. Of course this is a plot device to portray witches as man-hating feminist bitches. Probably brought to you by the same lot that equates feminist with man hater in the first place. I identify myself as a feminist, and more than one person has called me a bitch. But while I have come to loathe patriarchal society, I have never hated men. I have known more than one man bashing feminist bitch. A few of these have used Goddess-based religions as an excuse for their dislike of men. Personally, while I think that it can be a positive thing to have occasions when women meet solely with their sisters and men with their brothers, I think that excluding men from learning about and learning to honor the goddesses is folly. We all become more balanced as human beings when we honor both the male and female rather than reviling female as "weak and emotional" and male as "brutish but powerful." Without male and female, we could not have life. Females are capable of great strength and males of great tenderness. Until we learn to honor both masculine and feminine and to allow them to work together, we will continue to be a world out of balance.
For an explanation of what is the Demiurge, please see the post below for information and then if you have further questions you may ask, but this is fine basic knowledge. This is thoughts channeled from me, the fellow which writes the book with Lily. I grow up surrounded with the Demiurge. We are to worship the Demiurge but it is not refered to thus in my home. It is refered to as God. I do not go much into the dynamics of my home, only that there is much to be unhappy about. My father is a priest of the Demiurge, but again, he believes that this is god and not only A god but GOD!!!! With capital letters and neon sign light and stars all around thank you very fucking much. And you must WORSHIP THIS FUCKER or get your ass kicked to the depths of hell!!! Well... I find I do not care for the Demiurge very much. Understand that in life I do not know this name. I do know the names of many gods but not this name. I make the choice to worship Satan at a time, but it is not really much of worship that goes in so much as spouting words to try and make myself look "bad." (to my embarrassment I find out later that really I do not look that "bad," more like I have distemper or such.) But now it is understood thus. I did not so much "worship Satan" as I spit in the face of what is called god, for I think this god to be a FUCKING ARSEHOLE!!!! Turns out I am right. There is another personality in my soul whom would talk to you much friendlier about all this. I see not reason to. My anger and misery can be much attributed to the fuckery of this church I am raised in, that still is a major entity in this world and leads many otherwise fine people to believe they are going to burn in some sort of hell, to be trapped into misery because they cannot swallow the poison of the false prophecy of the BLIND, INSANE GOD! Some choose to believe that this is a benevolent god, but while there is benevolent gods, this Demiurge is not one. The church of christianity worships the Demiurge whether they believe this is whom they worship or no. The laws of this being blinds all and has not mercy. I do not encounter it following my death, I avoid it. It does not send me to hell. What hells there are does not make room for fools, as I make my own hell in my heart it is already took care of. We do incounter the creator energy, and this is what some thinks they worship when they step foot into the church of christianity. If you truly worship this, and if you truly think you shall live in the footsteps of the man Jesus, then you must abandon this church, for it shall lead you astray. The church which says it worships the ideals of this man Jesus does not, in fact, in any ways resemble. He was a teacher and a person of kind thought and not twisted with hate and judgment and a belief of being superior to others. These is the ways of the Demiurge but many will continue to be seduced into his church and fooled. Why anybody would wish to feed the power lust of this creature any longer is not so mystifying. They are afraid and seduced. I have saw the eyes of such people. It leads someone with a mind sickened by things I do not care to discuss into the folly of calling demons upon themself. The demons of the hells feed the demons of my mind and I believe they had plenty of joy to feed off as I kill my body in a terribly violent fashion filled with hate of my self at the moment of death. But not only hate. Such terrible, terrible dispair. At such a time, believe me, the Demiurge turns his arse to you! Oh, it is all well and good to frighten the sunday church goers with a bit of a Satanic dance, but in the end the soul is also left empty if you worship a god of emptiness. It would have been more fulfilling if I had done so with a bit more mirth. But I was eaten up inside with sorrows and horrors of the mind. My sleep was twisted in nightmare and my heart broken and torn apart, something living dead, rotting yet still bleeding. Demons danced in my dreams and I knew not peace. This church which was forced upon me, it brought not peace but more of terror. I do not recommend worshiping the anti-god or what have you simply so you are worshiping "not the demiurge." If you call to you negative energy then it will fall into the empty pockets of your soul and destroy you. Already I had enough evil in my life. But if you have wondered if the church you have been brain washed to attending is full of shit, then the answer is yes. Will the Demiurge make your life miserable if you depart? Perhaps. It all depends how strong your psyche is to resist. Mine was not very much so. My friend who channels this words of me from beyond the grave is also not very much so. Whom gods destroy they first make mad, it is said. She is unhappy and fears. I lived a life fully fear-filled, which ends only making a stupid tongue twister. Filled with demons and ugly images. In death I work to erase some of this. I do not wish to be born to a new life schizophrenic or such. First before being reborn I must understand and heal. I am fine in my next life to worship the old gods. In the end both the demiurge and the anti-god will shit on you and eat your soul if you let them. I remain... Dead... Yes, still Dead. Fuck. Suicide will not let you escape who and what you are.
The term appears in Gnosticism. The material universe is seen as evil or at least a place created by an insane, malevolent, and/or inferior creator deity.
The Gnostics attributed many of the actions and laws which in the Tanach or Old Testament are attributed to the Hebrew God Yehovah, to the Demiurge (see the Sethians and Ophites).
Alternative Gnostic names for the Demiurge, include Yaldabaoth, "Samael", "Saklas", and "Kosmokrator". He is known as Ptahil in Mandaeanism. The figures of the "Angel of YHWH" and the "Angel of Death" may have contributed to the Gnostic view of the Demiurge.
Yaldabaoth
Gnostic myth recounts that Sophia (Greek, literally meaning "wisdom"), the Demiurge’s mother and a partial aspect of the divine Pleroma or “Fullness,” desired to create something apart from the divine totality, and without the receipt of divine assent. In this abortive act of separate creation, she gave birth to the monstrous Demiurge and, being ashamed of her deed, she wrapped him in a cloud and created a throne for him within it. The Demiurge, isolated, did not behold his mother, nor anyone else, and thus concluded that only he himself existed, being ignorant of the superior levels of reality that were his birth-place.
The Gnostic myths describing these events are full of intricate nuances portraying the declination of aspects of the divine into human form; this process occurs through the agency of the Demiurge who, having stolen a portion of power from his mother, sets about a work of creation in unconscious imitation of the superior Pleromatic realm. Thus Sophia’s power becomes enclosed within the material forms of humanity, themselves entrapped within the material universe: the goal of Gnostic movements was typically the awakening of this spark, which permitted a return by the subject to the superior, non-material realities which were its primal source. (See Sethian Gnosticism.)
Under the name of Nebro (rebel), Yaldabaoth is called an angel in the apocryphalGospel of Judas. He is first mentioned in "The Cosmos, Chaos, and the Underworld" as one of the twelve angels to come "into being [to] rule over chaos and the [underworld]". He comes from heaven, his "face flashed with fire and whose appearance was defiled with blood". Nebro creates six angels in addition to the angel Saklas to be his assistants. These six in turn create another twelve angels “with each one receiving a portion in the heavens.”
Samael
“Samael” literally means “Blind God” or “God of the Blind” in Aramaic (Syriacsæmʕa-ʔel). This being is considered not only blind, or ignorant of its own origins, but may in addition be evil; its name is also found in Judaica as the Angel of Death and in Christian demonology. This leads to a further comparison with Satan.
Saklas
Another alternative title for the Demiurge, “Saklas,” is Aramaic for “fool” (Syriac sækla “the foolish one”).
Yahweh
Some Gnostic teachers (notably Marcion of Sinope and the Sethians) seem to have identified the evil Demiurge with Yahweh, the God of the Old Testament, in opposition and contrast to the God of the New Testament. Still others equated the being with Satan. Catharism apparently inherited their idea of Satan as the creator of the evil world directly or indirectly from Gnosticism. However, "YHWH" is generally not used as a name of the demiurge in Gnostic texts. Yaldabaoth isn't likely from "YHWH Sabaoth" since Yaldabaoth has an "L" at the end of "ya", suggesting the name of an angel is the origin of the term. The names of most angels of Jewish origin end with the syllable "el". On the other hand, some angels were called by some YHWH because they represented God's power and authority. This was especially true of the supreme angel that represented God, who was sometimes called the "lesser YHWH". A Jewish sect of first century B.C., called the Maghariyyah, held that angels organized the world and ordained the Law. Such views may have been part of the origin of Gnostic Christian belief in the Demiurge and his archons.
Nowhere in the Old testament, or New Testament canon, is the creator of the world or the universe identified as Satan. Nor in the Old (see the Septuagint) or New Testament is the cosmos, nature or earth created by the creator referred to as evil. Rather than presenting Satan as the creator of the world as we know it, orthodox Christianity holds that the New Testament presents the view that creation has been subjected to his rule through mankind's defection from the creator Yahweh. As a result, Satan is called "the god of this world" at (2 Cor. 4:4), and John states that "the whole world lies in the grip of the Wicked One." (1 John 5:19) The vilification of the Creator of the material world is to both traditions orthodox Christian and Jewish movements, foreign and not documented as a traditional perspective. [11]
This, in fact, is a crucial doctrine often overlooked by those who have difficulty harmonizing the goodness of Yahweh the Creator with the evil that is evident in the world (see the problem of evil).
While concepts such as syzygies (see Valentinus) and the soul and spiritual as good and the body and the material universe as evil would indeed reflect a very distinct and clear duality as it is expressed within the Sethian and other gnostic traditions (also see Mind-body dichotomy).
An example of vilifying the Creator would be to attribute the term “Kosmokrator” (found in the New Testament) to the Old Testament creator as the fallen Gnostic demiurge (see Marcion and the Cathars). If one sees the attribute of organizor of the cosmos as inherent in the concept of God, then the title “The God of this Aeon”, becomes a powerful indicator that Satan is indeed the creator. Modern-day Cathars see the epithet κοσμοκράτορας (Kosmokrator) (Koine Greek kosmokratoras (lit. "world ruler", κόσμο cosmos + κράτορας ("kratia"), which is applied to Satan in Ephesians 6:12, as a possible further indication of the creatorship of Satan and his identity with the Demiurge.
This usage would, according to some, vilify the logos[12] as it was used by Heraclitus, meaning the ruling or guiding principle of the universe.
Some people think St. Paul's passage was referring to men of power falling under the influence of evil as in the world-rulers (since the word Kosmokrators in Ephesians is plural meaning many rulers not one ruler) of the darkness of the age this then meaning many evil rulers not just one. The Gnostics held there were several archons under the supreme archon of the cosmos, the Demiurge.
I don't know that I'm exactly an atheist at this point but I do know that if the church god exists than it is not a just god because a just god would not allow the kind of suffering that goes on in the world. I do believe that there is something of the personality that survives the death of the body, the reiki energy survives. I don't really know what existence on the "other side" is like. I do know that those who have communicated with me are earthbound spirits and for them existence is somewhat free floating. They find something to attach to because they aren't ready to be dead. If I were to die now I would be one of them because so much is unresolved. I don't like being in a church and praying. I like being in nature looking at trees or flowers and meditating. This is why Buddhism appeals to me more than the Catholic religion that I grew up with. I went through a period of dabbling in the "left hand path" and got the fuck scared out of me, so I stopped messing with those energies. I do appeal to the Pagan deities at times. They seem much more approachable than the Christian god. But I don't know if they really give a flip about me or mine either. Right now I don't have much to say about gods. I feel pretty adrift and pretty abandoned by the higher energies of the Universe. I have a bunch of health problems, one of them seeming to be related to my heart. I have to sleep with my head elevated to keep my heart from palpitating. I have elevated blood pressure that is usually in the pre-hypertension range but sometimes ranges into hypertension. I know I need to lose a bunch of weight but am afraid to start exercising strenuously until the actual cause of these heart palpitations has been pinpointed. I realize I have mental illnesses, including anxiety disorder. I'm not addressing any of that right now. I'm only addressing the fact that I'm enduring quite a bit of doubt in life, the universe and everything, or at least in any kind of kindness from the higher forces. At this point they seem pretty distant and impersonal. Maybe they've just had enough of our bullshit. I know that's how I'd feel. It would be something like this: "Screw you fuckers, I'm going home. I've had enough of you calling me whenever you need something but acting like I don't exist and you did it all yourself after I help you." The fact is, a benevolent god wouldn't do that. A benevolent god would be more like someone feeding their pet fish. The fish doesn't acknowledge who you are exactly, but it's grateful for the food. You like the fish even though the fish doesn't know exactly what you are and it doesn't thank you by name. A benevolent deity would treat its creations with love whether or not they acknowledged its existence. There wouldn't be this ego trip going on with threats of fire and brimstone. I can't buy into that belief system any more. Right now I'm not exactly sure what it is I'm buying. I think I'm kind of waiting and seeing. What I do know is that right now the world kinda seems to suck for everybody. Maybe we have to fight to get out of the suckage. Maybe the materialists are right and nothing exists beyond this life. But for me that's a pretty shitty and depressing belief and it only leads to misery, so I'm not going to allow it to take over any more than I'm going to buy into the dogma of the fire and brimstone lot. In the immortal words of Chuck D, I've gotta do what I've gotta do so who the hell is you to tell me that my song is wrong. I can only go with what I know. Which sometimes is not a whole hell of a lot. So I guess I'll just fly by the seat of my pants like always and see what happens.
My son went to Thailand last year with his school and I am soooooo jealous!!!!
Of everything except the bug bites that were all over his arms.
Unfortunately, his school screwed him over this year. He had a bout of depression and confided in a teacher that he was feeling suicidal. The good part is he ended up getting counseling which has been great for him. The bad part is the school board decided he was too much of a "risk" to take on the trip to Mexico this year. He had been so looking forward to it. I have expressed my disgust to them more than once for taking away this opportunity from a young man who has always been a good student and never a discipline problem. Fuckers!
Maybe someday he can take me to Thailand and show me around. That would be a nice family activity, I think!
The African Orisha Oya is a deity presiding over cemeteries, death and storms. She can help facilitate change when circumstances are blocked. The text at the Angelfire site listed below warns not to call on Oya unless you are prepared to deal with the consequences. The impression that I get is that Oya does not mind being called upon for help. She is a goddess of change, which makes her in part a destroyer goddess, but she is not without compassion. She simply does not want to put up with bullshit. It's fine to call upon Oya to facilitate the forces of change should you want a better job, a better living circumstance, a better relationship, an end to sickness, even help with weight loss. Oya is not going to be too kindly disposed to petitions asking for "that sweet new Hummer" "The hottie with the big gazongas" "make me a size zero so all the other girls will be jealous" "make me the most popular so I don't have to hang out with my current loser friends" or things of that nature. She wants your life to be better, not to facilitate you acting like an idiot.
The prayer to Oya comes from The Handbook of Yoruba Religious Concepts and was found at the third website on the list.
As powerful as the strong wind
More fierce than the storm
Oya guards my soul against the many fingers of evil
Help me to rest upon the earth free from strain and undue frustration
Oya, warrior of the wind, let not our land be overrun with destroyers
I combined my prayer to Oya with a prayer to facilitate positive change, which comes from the Tarot Spells book by Janina Renee.
The time has come for a change
The time has come to move on to something newer, something better
That which was done in the past shall be prelude to an ever greater future, moving onward and upward
Changes are coming, with one action leading rapidly to another
The forces are set in motion
Inexorably I move towards the goals that I desire
A new stage of evolution is before me
The power I summon turns the wheel of heaven
The changes begin with this spell and continue as I better myself and all that is around me
So it is and so shall it continue to be
I used this spell when I used to work all over the building at my current job, mostly in the long term care area. I did not want to work in that area any more. I had been doing that kind of work for a long time and was completely burnt out on it. After a year of being the on-call person, I was hired permanently in my current department which while not perfect, is far better. I believe the energies generated by this spell helped.
Currently, I feel stuck. My financial situation is disastrous. I would like to be in business for myself. I would like to gain recognition for my book, the goal of which is to help spread positive change in the treatment of mental health issues. I would like to be able to live where I choose, wherever I am most necessary, and not be tied to a job. And I would very much like to stop feeling the noose of debt around my neck. As well, I want to lose some weight for health reasons. I believe that the energies of Oya can give the spell the extra "push" it needs. I don't expect overnight results but I have faith that there will be good results.
I also gave petition to Oya to give my son protection and guidance as he goes out in the world. I prayed to her to help end the violence in schools. A person should not have to be afraid for their life when they go someplace to learn. Parents should not have to fear for their children when they are at school. Let not our land be overrun with destroyers. In the United States, these people are destroyers. I pray to this powerful Orisha to help stop this madness.
This is a quiz from the Goddess site mentioned in the post below.
Your 'goddess at work' style is Cordelia
Your work style
In Welsh Celtic mythology, Cordelia's father wanted her to marry a man of his choosing. He may have thought he could have his way because he had 'judged the book by the cover' - he probably assumed Cordelia was a fluffy-bunny joy-joy flower-loving maiden, but he learned her true nature when she showed her mettle and married the man of her choice.
Colleagues of a Cordelia-inspired gal may make the same mistake as Cordelia's father. They shouldn't assume you're a pushover simply because you're friendly, approachable and easy to get along with.
Quite the opposite... you appreciate your opinion being respected, and may occasionally be a wee bit stubborn in getting your own way.
It isn't anti-man, but is about women reconnecting with the Goddess energies, with one another, and with ourselves. This is something that women need to do, and often we neglect it.
It's easy in a closed-minded society. But let me tell you how I managed it 25 years ago.
My one semester in college occurred during the Satanic Panic fervor. 18 and thick as a brick, I naively thought that people who went to college were more open-minded than other folk. Gives you the idea that maybe, just maybe, I am not the sharpest tool in the shed. But I have learned a lot since then. Big lesson learned: most people are terrified, narrow minded sheep. If this were the middle ages I would have been burned at the stake a long time ago. But since there are laws preventing "good" Christian folk from burning evil polytheists at the stake these days, their blood lust now goes unthwarted most of the time in this society.
I was drawn like a moth to a flame to anything containing alcohol, and my tongue was loosened. I gleefully told everyone about my ability to talk to ghosts. And when the subject of religion came up I openly told them about being raised Catholic but having found polytheism. Lo and behold, I was now a pariah.
My room mate moved out, fearing that I, the "Satan Worshipper" would sacrifice her like a goat one night in her sleep. Unbelievably, I still had a few friends but most of the other dorm dwellers talked in whispers when I came by, left rude missives on my message board, and ducked into their rooms if they saw me coming. My mental health took a turn for the worse. I was always getting blasted or high, often with people I didn't know. In one case using beer bongs at a party till I lost count, wandering off in a state of oblivion until I knocked on the door of some more people I didn't know, who turned out, luckily, to be a very mellow, pot-smoking grad student couple who called a cab for me between tokes. I went to the student health center because my stomach hurt terribly, left when it stopped hurting, met another group of people I didn't know and partyed with them till daylight. Another time didn't turn out so well. A bit too trusting of a fellow whom I met in line for concert tickets for AC/DC I went with him to have a few drinks and get high. He wanted "payment" for the drinks and weed. I didn't want to give him payment but was too wasted to fight, so he took his payment. I ended up a worse mess than ever psychologically. Somewhere during this psychological hell I met and began a codependent relationship with my ex husband.
Since then I have developed a "don't ask don't tell" policy when it comes to topics like psychic phenomena and religious beliefs. Even then I generally just tell those who ask that I'm a Buddhist, which is, in fact, part of the truth. I go to the Buddhist temple to meditate when I can. I put up Tara and Buddha statuettes on my desk while working at night. With Buddhism, one is working on improving their relationship to themselves and the Universe, not telling others what to think and do. So yes, I am a Buddhist. But while I don't deny my Pagan beliefs I don't tell too many people outright either. The place that I work is run by a Christian organization, so you can see that this wouldn't go over too well. I'm not going to pretend that I'm a "good" practicing Christian, but I'm going to protect myself too. Because in this case, being a pariah can mean loss of income, and I'm just not ready for the lesson of being homeless yet.
And I sure as hell ain't gonna blurt out that I wrote a book with the help of a ghost or that I've been talking to ghosts for a goodly portion of my life. Because Cie Cheesemeister didn't write a book with a ghost--Lily Strange did. Very few people that I have personal contact with will ever know that the two are one and the same. Luckily, I don't think that my "big ole Satan worshippin' book of sin an' evil" will ever be something to catch the attention of most bible thumpin' Corset Christians. Unless they're burning it, of course.
When certain very traumatic events take place, they leave a psychic imprint. My co-author committed suicide on April 8 1991. Since meeting him in August of 1995, I have experienced varying degrees of ghost sickness when this date approaches. This year it has taken the form of high anxiety. In 2006 on this date I literally thought I was going to die. I vomited rather violently a couple of times and felt dreadfully dizzy. Last year wasn't bad because we focused our energies elsewhere by sending the book in for publication on this dread date. No book this year, so, oh fuck, here we go again. It isn't as bad as it was in 2006 but I am still not having a great time. A few days ago I had a panic attack so severe that I was afraid I might have to go to the ER. I am not sure how much of this was triggered by the opening of these particular energies.
I wish to impart that neither my co-author nor any other spirit is trapped in a psychic tape loop reliving an incident such as this repeatedly. He tells me that he in fact has never been back to the location in which it took place. Following the initial traumatic incident he returned to the location for a couple of weeks (in part, he says, to engage in a modicum of poltergeist activity against his former not very beloved roommate) but realized fairly quickly that doing so was not in any way useful and so resolved to never return to that place. The energy of the incident, however, will remain until such time as the difficulties that drove him to the act are healed. And this can take a very long time. Sometimes a person will even encounter an incident of trauma from a past life. The traumatic fallout from this incident could be around long after my co-author has reincarnated. If he were to return to this place in a future life he would experience a great deal of discomfort and might in essence "meet himself" although nothing of his personality actually remains there, only the energies from the very strong emotional state surrounding his death.
The place where the incident happened is not a good one. The energies there are very negative, and were before this incident. It is a gateway to the lower astral. Anyone who is very sensitive to energies AND prone to depression (someone like my co-author) should avoid such a place. He in fact had friends who told him that the place wasn't healthy and he should move away from it. Sadly, his mindset and circumstances were such that he did not take action in this regard. While there are many things which contributed to his unfortunate decision to take his own life, the energies in the place where he was living did not help. Lower astral beings thrive on energies of misery and depression and found someone like him (a troubled person who is also a psychic sensitive) an easy target.
The memories and emotions of relatives come into play as well on the anniversary of an untimely death of this nature, as does the remorse of the spirit themselves. While he has a greater understanding of his psyche than he did at the time he took his life, he still has issues that he is dealing with and he feels a great deal of remorse for bringing pain upon others. Although my co-author had something of a notorious image, he has apologized profusely to me every time sensing the energies surrounding this date cause me distress. It isn't his fault that I'm a psychic sponge and he wouldn't be able to talk to me so readily if I weren't. But there is still a lot of work to be done.
My friend jokes that he's not sure if his musical tastes have evolved or mutated in the years since his demise, but he has developed a strong liking for the blues and for music with tones such as are found in Celtic and Australian aboriginal music. The didgeridoo actually vibrates at the same level as a discarnate spirit, so most human spirits find it pleasant.
We were listening to this song the other night and he said that he liked it and asked if I would include it if I made a collection of songs for him like I did last year. Of course I will, and I'll put it here too.
In spite of the annual psychic hell, I'm very glad I met this friend (although sometimes it sucks that he's invisible to me) and I hope we'll be able to create many more things together. He helps make my life bearable. I've never exactly been a ray of sunshine myself.
Robin Trower plays Bridge of Sighs
For my dear friend and co-author
January 16, 1969-April 8, 1991
I know you're restless, but may you find peace and comfort and know that you have friends here.
My co author wants to leave a note so anything after this point is quoted verbatim from him.
Note from the spooky bastard:
Thank you, I appreciate it. What I like about this song is it is soothing, like being rocked on an ocean. Unlike some people this does not make me throw up--Lily.
Also it helps if you do not have to drink water, not so fun to be in the middle of the ocean with only salt water to drink, then you may join me sooner than you think.
Also with the song, hell of great guitar work. Everybody fantasizes of playing guitar but I never could, my fingers tied into knots when I try so this does not work too well.
Thank you for putting up with me. This year is better than the past. So no more of this anxiety shit. I would not like to have to hurt you!
Only kidding. We must say for those that insists to take everything literal.
If you read this we wish to you to remember to keep an open mind as a consipation in the head is not very pleasant and causes your thoughts to be shit. Also, keep guns away from your head especially if depressed. If you do what you may be thinking of you cannot take it back and believe me even I wished I could, even as fucking miserable as I was in that moment. There is no rewind, no take back, no re-play. I have much I wish to impart but cannot of my own accord do so any longer. While I enjoy and appreciate my partnership with my living friend, it would be much more fun if we could also look at each other. Not to give you some sickening sweet tommorow is another day crap but if you are thinking to do it think twice and think again. Not false hope only reality.
Good wishes to you and also positive energies.
Yes, this from me. If you do not care for such things, the problem is not mine. But for those which accept, the offer stands.
The deity of the day was Tawert, who is an Egyptian goddess. She is a deity of transition, both a helper of mothers and a healer of souls. Her basic appearance is that of a pregnant hippopotamus with a crocodile tail. She is called upon both to help bring new life into the world and to guide the souls of those who have entered the spirit world. So I called upon her both to protect and guide my son as he enters adulthood and goes to live on his own, to help me deal with this transition because I'm not dealing with it very well, and to help guide and heal my co-author, who committed suicide 17 years ago tomorrow.
Since we are on the subject of Egyptian death rites, here is an interesting page regarding ancient Egyptian funerary items and practices.
rising waxing morning’s redness an egg in the palm a seed in the soil
waxing, rising thrusting, lusting hare of dusk and dawning’s robin
a bloom springing forth the down of willow blooming, singing rutting, springing
sap flows sweet the birds are waking waking, knowing stretching, growing
Ostara, i can hear your footsteps in sparrow song in robin trill
Ostara, i can see your tresses in scarlet maples the daffodil
girl of gold and morning’s redness blooming, singing rutting, springing
sap flows sweet the songbirds waking waking, knowing stretching, growing
the egg in the palm a seed in the soil
—Jenne Micale
Ostara is a goddess of fertility whose festival is held on the Spring Equinox.
As I was wanting to do work for healing my heart today and to bring good fortune to my writing project, I find Ostara to have been a fortuitous choice for the deity of the day. Fertility does not always mean reproduction. It also encompasses anything for which there is a birth process, and this includes creative works and even the growth of crops or the birth of a business.
I (and my co-author) have been feeling sad over the lack of interest in our creation, but we will continue to create, as we enjoy working together. Also, we both need a lot of healing and feel we can support each other. So we will continue our work, both creative and spiritual.
Blessings to any who may see this. I hope it helps you in some way. Lily
Trying to do too much spell work on a given night was really doing me in. I slated myself for an hour each night and to do as many spells or invocations as fit the number of the day. Thus on today, Monday, I would do nine. This actually negated the power of the spell. When I found the widget for the deity of the day, I decided that as a polytheist, I should focus upon the deity of the day as well as the properties of the day.
Some days this ends up being a time to invoke and chat with a deity for a while. Every little bit of positive energy is a blessing. But sometimes great gifts are bestowed. The deity of the day is Zeus. I looked up an invocation for him and did not specifically find one. I did, however, find a fine educational page on the various aspects of Zeus.
I felt that as Monday is governed by the moon and the moon governs aspects such as purification and clearing, and Zeus is a multifaceted deity, I would call upon him to help me make positive changes. There is a spell for getting away from a bad environmental situation in the book Tarot Spells by Janina Renee, and this is what I chose. The bad environment being entrapment in chronic debt, being a wage slave and the wage is never enough, feeling old, run-down, tired and hopeless. This is all shit. So I asked Father Zeus for his blessing and assistance and I began the spell work.
When a very clear vision comes of a deity, this is a very positive sign. I saw in my mind's eye Father Zeus riding in a chariot over the sea towards the shore on which I was standing in my vision. The sky was blue but with some clouds and it was a windy day, though there was no storm as such. He approached me and I knew he approved of my request and granted me blessing. I spoke to him of the things I wanted to change and asked his blessings and protection for myself and my loved ones.
One of the gifts he gave me had to do with breathing to clear the chakras, and picturing the sephira on the Tree of Life as I did so. You breathe deeply according to the number of the day, which for Monday is nine times. This method is the one I learned. If you are more comfortable with other names and colors for the chakras, use your own.
First breathe into the crown Chakra, above the head. This chakra is pure white energy. Next the brow, which has a violet hue. Then the third eye, which is indigo. Envision a blue light energy for the throat. Following this I envision the Thymus chakra which is attuned to Daath. This is between the throat and the heart, and the energy is clear. Next is the heart, the energy of which is green, followed by the solar plexus, which is golden yellow. The energy then flows down to the spleen chakra, which is actually situated in the navel area. Following this is the root chakra, which is at the base of the spine and also encompasses the reproductive organs.
In my method, the energy then flows to another chakra at the level of the knees. The color is difficult to describe, being the color of night itself. This is not an opaque black, but a clear black with highlights of silver and gold, like the moon and stars. Although I am breathing to this area, in my mind I am seeing the wonderful dwellers of the moon-sphere, humanoids with birdlike heads holding staffs. These are the guardians of the gate between worlds. They may seem fearsome but are actually benevolent, ready to guide those who approach them with pure intent. Finally, breathe into the foot chakra, which is a swirling mass of all the colors of the rainbow.
While doing this exercise, focus the energy given to you by the deity whose blessing you have asked down through each chakra, so as to bring the energy for your spell/petition from the Heavens to the Earth sphere Malkuth, which in the human body is represented by the foot chakra.
Finally, lift the energy from the foot chakra and send it back in an arc on either side of your body to the crown (Kundalini) chakra above your head, from the crown to the feet, in a continuous stream of pure white energy. This establishes as above so below.
This essay was written while in a spontaneous trance induced while participating in the spell work blessed by Zeus. I am not inclined to edit such spontaneous work, although later when my consciusness is integrated fully once again into the physical world, I may clarify certain aspects of the essay.
This is a lazy post. It's actually just a duplicate of a comment on Mago's blog. But I found it relevant to post here.
Sometimes on a logical level I start thinking that everything I believe in is stupid. But my life becomes bleaker when I think that way. Questioning should help a person grow, not stagnate them. And sometimes those looking only for purely "logical" explanations delude themselves just as much as those who insist that everything happens for a divine reason.
Steve Irwin's presence is still felt by family, friends and visitors at Australia's zoo. There aren't any reports of telekinetic incidents, i.e. objects being moved or knockings or anything of that nature, just a friendly presence. This is often the case with spirits. A person will feel a presence rather than having a bunch of phenomena happen. And while Steve was the sort of guy given to playing pranks, I believe that at this point he'd rather just let people know that he's still around. He knows how hurt his family and friends were by his death and he doesn't want to upset them. So he gives a psychic hug and a hello.
My spectral co-author often hugs me around the shoulders and I feel a very nice warmth. Which is especially pleasant, given the problems I have with my joints and muscles. He also musses my hair sometimes, but didn't do this at first because he didn't want to frighten me. Sometimes when he has something he really wants to say I'll feel tingling in the "third eye" area or in one of my thumbs.
A friendly spirit will never deliberately frighten someone unless it's someone they deem deserving, i.e. someone who hurts others. I've also encountered the other kind of spirit, as well as demons. But that's a story for another time.
People who have the ability to do so have long been able to sense emotions from photographs, especially if the subject in the photograph was feeling a particularly strong emotion. I've always made up stories by using photographs. Most of my stories are inspired by pictures of real people, although it is often the attitude of the person rather than their physical appearance that inspires the creation of a character. Once I'm done enhancing the character the traits that originally inspired me are more subtle, now blending in with fictional characteristics. However I have discovered more than once that a fictional scenario I created for a given character reflects an important event in the life of the person whose photograph inspired the creation of the character. This is sometimes simply interesting but can be disturbing. Television and movies can be important channels for receiving emotions and contacting the minds of people, both living and dead. The worst thing that ever happened to me along these lines was that I fell asleep shortly after hearing that John Wayne Gacy had been executed. My only thought was "good riddance to bad rubbish," although ethically speaking I'm opposed to the death penalty--not because I give a rip in hell about having mercy on those who have really committed heinous crimes, but because I believe there are cases where innocent people were executed. However, my purpose here is not to discuss my socio-political beliefs, but rather to share thoughts on esoteric and mystical phenomena. As a medium, I tend to be an "open conduit" for spirits and Gacy, not very long dead, found me. I didn't "speak" to him, he entered my consciousness. And I had a deplorable dream where I, possessed by the spirit of Gacy, committed atrocious acts on a young boy. I do not believe that Gacy used my astral form to assault a young male spirit such as one of his victims. Rather, what happened is that Gacy's thoughts temporarily became my thoughts. Behaving in such a fashion is completely against my nature, and I woke physically shaken and nauseated, both from the awful visions filling my consciousness and the struggle of dislodging Gacy's consciousness from my mind. One good shove and he was gone and, fortunately, has never returned. Badly shaken, I sought words of comfort both from the Psalms, which I always did in my youth, and also from the Egyptian book of the Dead and asked the deities to please protect me from a repeat attack by Gacy. Although Gacy maintained his innocence, I have no doubt that he was guilty and that he was a sociopath who believed he had the right to do what he did. I sensed great pleasure from his memories (fortunately I did not "view" the murders, but viewing/feeling the assault on the boy was well and away bad enough) and that if he had been set free he would surely have done it again. There was also a great deal of arrogance. He thought me stupid and an easy target, which was pretty much his opinion of all other people. In contradiction, there was, at the core, a deep self-loathing which caused a great, cold rage. When he murdered the boys, at some level he was murdering a younger self that he saw as weak. He wasn't entirely aware of this. I do not know John Wayne Gacy's childhood history, but I am quite sure he was abused and/or neglected to a degree. While I have sympathy for any child who was abused, the actions of Gacy and others like him are unconscionable. Unlike Gacy and his ilk, my co-author and other benevolent Earthbound spirits do not care to enter the actual consciousness of the medium with whom they are communicating. They impart their thoughts but their consciousness does not invade upon mine. My co-author tends to guard me while I sleep because of my vulnerability to invading negative spirits and demons. Once when I was terribly sleep deprived I was taking a nap at my parents' house, which does have a "doorway" in the basement. A negative entity came in through the doorway and tried to enter my body. In order to protect me from its attack, my co-author briefly entered my consciousness to chase it out. This was a slightly startling experience for me--I liken it to the feeling when you miss a step coming down a flight of stairs but catch yourself. Surprisingly, it was greatly unsettling for him. He apologized and said that his doing this was actually inadvertent. He said that he has no desire to possess anybody and while my energy is actually pleasant (his words) being enveloped in another's energies is distressing. He had a thought that this may be because his energy is a male polarity and mine is a female polarity. What I'm getting around to is that no positive spirit or entity will ever enter your consciousness without your permission except in case of emergency in order to protect or help you, and they will vacate as soon as possible. Higher spirits and angelic energies do not experience disruption when entering the consciousness of a living medium and the medium will generally experience peace during such contacts.
Before initiating such a contact, it is best to do a clearing of the area where you will be working. This should drive away any lower astral entities. My personal favorite rituals are basic Pagan ones using water, salt, and a scented candle. I also like to set up my Tara statue, but that's just me. You doowhatchalike, and the Universe will take care of the rest!
Esoteric horror fiction meets metaphysical truth. 50% of the profits are donated to the World Health Organization's mental health division in hopes of ending stigma and making compassionate care possible for the millions who suffer from mental illness worldwide.
Spread the hope--end the stigma!
SUICIDE CAN ONLY BE PREVENTED BY COMPASSIONATE COUNSEL. NOT BY PATRONIZING PREJUDICE.
