Unclean!

The Goddess Pele: Stand back when she's PMS-ing

While I certainly don't buy the BS of the religion I was raised with that menstruating women are "unclean" and somehow "unholy," given menstruation as a curse for Eve's sins, I can't in any way disagree with calling that part of life "The Curse." Few things suck more than this process, and somehow it's never evolved from a hellish burden to a simple inconvenience, at least not for most women I know. When I was younger I would writhe in agony once a month, feeling like someone was driving a sword through my abdomen. After giving birth to my son (during which I experienced much of the pain in my back) I began having back pain with "the curse." Now in my middle years it brings nausea, heart palpatations and extreme exhaustion--and it's still just as gross. The alternative would be to stop the process using birth control pills--which bring weight gain (thanks anyway, but I'm already fat enough) and increased risk of stroke and heart attack. No, that's ok. I'll just suffer and wish I could turn into a gay dude for one week out of the month.

That being said, using "the curse" as an excuse to see women as unholy servants of Satan is asinine. Although it is true that we may seem like we're possessed during the week of the crimson tide.

I found this essay which has quotes that show the beliefs of certain people in the past regarding menstruating women. Keep in mind that these are the same people who saw those unfortunate enough to have leprosy as being somehow in league with the powers of darkness, rather than simply being people who had a disease.

Then again, how much has really changed? Think of how deplorably people with AIDS were treated initially--and how there are still idiots today how self-righteously believe that people stricken with this awful condition "deserve it" because of their sins. That's right, I can't count the number of times I've said to myself "that five year old child must be a homosexual because he has AIDS and AIDS is a gay disease and all those homos deserve to die!" Not really of course. But there are those who are that closed minded. Perhaps the example of hating on a five year old child is a tad extreme, but just a tad. AIDS is indeed a curse to the person who has it, but it isn't a judgment. It's a very serious immune system disorder that can turn deadly.

Why we have to suffer no-one has ever quite been able to figure out. There are many theories. But that both good and evil people suffer is a fact. Physical dysfunction and disease don't discriminate between the holy and the unholy. They simply exist. And while we may feel it is justice when a child murderer is stricken with a particularly awful disease but tragedy when a good person is stricken with the same disease, the disease does not in fact discriminate. The cells of any given person's body, good or evil, are fair game to the things that cause suffering.

I once read an article describing the various kinds of karma. The Wikipedia article on karma isn't quite as concise but does explain the different concepts to a degree. Karma isn't simply a matter of divine retribution, which is what people who would be inclined to believe that those who died in the Holocaust or who have been tortured or murdered are experiencing--an eye for an eye. In fact I believe that this is rarely the case. There is a type of divine retribution, but it is usually self-inflicted and sometimes erroneously so. The article also discussed a person's dharma, and the times that one person's actions affect another person's karma. There is karma for the various species on the planet, as well as for the planet itself. There are many factors coming into play and nothing is simple.

In the case of volcanoes, it could just be that the goddess Pele is PMS-ing really bad, and that's one lady whose flow you really don't want to get in the way of!

However, the most fearsome of all during that time of the month is probably Kyle Marsh's sister Shelly, as seen in this clip from the Terrance and Phillip Movie Trailer episode of South Park.

To see the full episode, go here, and when the clip finishes playing, click "watch the full episode."

Where else can you get bad jokes and South Park with your metaphysical jibber-jabber? Nowhere, I tell you! Admit it--it's what keeps you coming back.

Until next time, ladies, may your periods be relatively unobtrusive and guys, sometimes the best thing to do when you know that time of the month is coming for a woman in your life, whether she be your aunt, cousin, friend, mom, sister, or significant other, is just stay out of the way until it's over!