Sunday, January 20, 2008

Gnosis and the Creator Energy

My hodgepodge belief system has a name. That name is "gnosis." A Gnostic takes wisdom from various sources. Although most of my sources of inspiration come from folklore, mythology and religion, some of the sources where I gain esoteric knowledge are not in themselves esoteric.
For me one of the of the greatest sources of inspiration is the "star nursery," which is part of our physical Universe. To me this is evidence of a powerful creator force. This force is not something which needs a name, nor does it require that we worship it. It is benevolent, yet it does not involve itself in the affairs of incarnate creatures. It loves everything it creates, yet this love is not the emotional attachment that most of us think of.
My co-author (or, more specifically, his host or core personality) believes that he encountered this force not long after the death of his body. He believed that he was bound for hell for committing suicide. The core personality distanced himself from the protector personality, who, ironically, was the one who killed their body. He says that he drifted in space for quite some time, not wanting to go to hell. He wondered if he could drift there forever and simply not be noticed. He says that the creator force itself spoke to him, not in words but directly into his mind and told him that his belief that he was bad and would go to hell was erroneous. He told me that being "embraced" by this benevolent force changed his perspective about things and that he felt a powerful desire to somehow return to the world and do something that would help or heal others who suffered, even though it would be a great challenge to do so given the fact that he was now without a body.
This force is not a deity--it created the god/goddess and angelic or demi-god energies which we gave human names and faces to. It is not male or female but both of these energies sprang from it. It did not create the dualisms of good and evil, it is outside of such concepts. Evil was created from fear and anger.
One can revere the creator force and send it benevolent thought energy. But although it is the ultimate form of pure energy, it does not require this, for it is self-sustaining. Working with the various deities can help a person connect with it. Negative energy distances us from it and makes us more alone.
One does not need to follow a given path to benefit from the creator energy. One does not even need to acknowledge it. One simply needs to create positive energy through thought and action. And they will receive more of the same in kind.

*Before commenting, please remember that these are my beliefs and opinions. I am not trying to force you to share them. These discoveries are precious to me and for a long time I kept them to myself for fear of ridicule, which diminishes the beauty and power of anything magical. It is with no little trepidation that I have chosen to share these thoughts in case that someone else may attain "gnosis" from them. If you disagree with what I have shared you are welcome to do so, but please be respectful and do not belittle me for having opinions that are not identical to your own.*

Friday, January 11, 2008

No Win Situation

It bothers me to realize how much I'd like for people to accept me. But I need to accept the fact that this will never happen.

Sometimes I can't really think of anything to say on this particular blog and I feel that sharing ancient wisdom is positive. I take mine where I can get it. I am a tremendously flawed being. I need to find strength. What inspires me may not inspire others. That's cool, but the problem is, my jigsaw belief system leads to attacks from all sides.
I have always been by the Christian lot that I'm going to hell for my acceptance of various beliefs. I get told by the left hand path lot that I'm too good. Wiccans don't like me because I also accept philosophies from non-pagan traditions. Atheists think I'm stupid for believing in the existence of various deities, spirit beings and the continuation of the personality after the death of the body.
I was raised Catholic and when I started finding wisdom in non-Christian beliefs, I was terrified even though logic dictated that the whole fire and brimstone thing was propaganda to keep people locked into the church. I was able to finally resolve my terror of going to hell for my non-Christian beliefs by studying the Holy Qabalah, which taught me that all religions have a place. The problem is that too many people see these paths, which are guidelines to spiritual development, as "the only way." And this causes hatred and intolerance between people. And for someone like me ends up feeling like everyone would like to lynch me because I don't adhere to any single belief system but rather take the gnostic approach of finding where wisdom where it may be, even in what may seem to be stange places.
I'm never going to be able to please all the people all the time so I either have to hide in the shadows or accept that I'm a pariah. Maybe one day I'll be driven back into the night again. I really don't like being hated. But I should be used to it by now. Perhaps there's a reason I must endure it. It would be easier to hide. But I feel like I was supposed to do something with this life. Maybe someday I'll know the reason behind it all. Right now I'm too damn tired to care.

Monday, January 07, 2008

Buddhist Wisdom

This is from my Buddhism Day by Day book by Daisaku Ikeda. It's one of my favorites.

One of the epithets of a Buddha is "Hero of the World." A Buddha is a valiant and noble champion who has conquered the sufferings of life in the real world.
Nichiren writes: "Buddhism is like the body and society like the shadow. When the body bends, so does the shadow."
People cannot live apart from society. But to be constantly at the mercy of society's ups and downs is a miserable existence. It is crucial for us to be strong and wise.
The "body" Nichiren refers to is, on the personal level, our faith.

Something to share

This is a beautiul page that I found. I just wanted to share it.

Here is the link to the main page of the site. The site owner appears to be Christian but not the judgmental, harsh kind. They seem thoughtful and appear to possess a good heart and open mind.

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

First of 2008 Divination

I do try to listen to my co-author, my other spirit friends, and to higher forces, but sometimes my stress level makes it difficult to hear. I did my first meditation/divination of the year last night. I was really struck by how the various cards were speaking to me, but when the time came to wrap things up I didn't write it down.
One of the things that I've been focusing on is honing my skills at listening to and communicating with the spirits so it isn't quite so haphazard. There have been two occasions since I first met my co-author where I've very strongly sensed him urging me to do something. Neither have been anything earth-shattering but have been things that could help me later on.
The first one was actually pretty funny. My son and I had gone to my parents' house for Thanksgiving. My co-author told me I should be sure to ask my mother to include some rolls in the leftovers that my mother was sending home with us. I figured she probably was so I didn't say anything. On the way home my son was digging in the bag.
"Where are the rolls???" he asked.
There weren't any. I told him that my ghost friend had actually suggested that I ask about rolls. My son said "Well, apparently, you don't listen to ANYBODY!" And he's never let me forget.
This time, my co-author has suggested that I write down the divination I received before I re-shuffle the cards for the next meditation/divination. The cards I received will still be on top of the deck. He said it will be good to be able to reference this divination when the times of hopelessness come, and to look at it again at the end of this year and see what I've managed to accomplish. This time I'm going to listen to him so he won't have reason to give me shit!
The Hindu deity who was a meditational focus was Brihaspati. He is a denizen of the Jupiter sphere. He is the spiritual master to the Hindu demigods and sages. He has influence in the three worlds. He bestows power and prestige in society, worldly knowledge and knowledge of law, the gifts of a spiritual teacher/master, and abilities as an advisor or counselor.
The Goddess who was the meditational focus was Brigit. She advises "sticking to your guns" and standing up for what you believe is right. I do go through periods of doubt where I figure those who think I've convinced myself that this is true and that I'm simply mad as a hatter are right and I should cease this nonsense. Thing is when I've tried, I just feel empty. People have a right to believe that I'm naff, that none of this could possibly be real, etc. However, that doesn't mean that I have to believe it. Nor does it mean that I need to put up with anyone who tries to shove their opinion down my throat or who is rude in their assertion that they're right and I (and everyone else in the world) am wrong. Maybe they are right but they can go be right somewhere else. And maybe what's right for them isn't right for me--or anybody else.
The Archangel focus was Ariel. Ariel in this context advises not holding back, going boldly forward with projects or ventures that are of particular importance to me. This means continuing to work on the books--even though so far this is hardly successful financially.
The next card, coming from the Saints and Angels deck, was Joan of Arc. Joan, of course, led France to victory and then the very king she helped had her burned as a heretic. She advises that while one may be ridiculed or punished for believing in something, particularly something that seems divinely or spiritually guided, that one day their sacrifices will help others. There were not too many female heroic figures for girls to look up to when I was growing up. Joan of Arc certainly is one, for any generation of girls.
The Unicorn oracle is fun one. The card from this deck says "Imagine" and advises incorporating creative visualization into my spiritual practice. I used to do this but it was hard when my thoughts got chaotic and I was afraid of erroneously manifesting something negative, so I stopped. I haven't done it since before my son was born. It seems I should take up this practice again.
The animal guide is the Water Buffalo. This creature advises being bold and believing in myself. The theme of courage is reocurring in this reading. Any theme that reoccurs is one to pay special attention to.
The next part of the divination comes from the Harmony Angel Cards. One draws a card from each suit. My reading was as follows:
From the Rainbow suit I again receive Ariel. The reoccurrence is a sign that I need to pay particular attention to this angel and his/her message. Ariel rules over Earth and Air. His/her sphere is Pluto and his/her color is amethyst. His/her gift is the Earth healing element, Reiki. Interestingly, my co-author has a natural gift in the use of this particular energy. He will very kindly apply warmth to painful areas on my spine and this helps in other ways. He had no idea that the energy had a name. He always called it "Spirit Energy." He says that this is a component of the energy that survives the death of the body. I had no idea that this was what Reiki was. Of course I had heard of Reiki but I didn't really know what it was. I had been considering getting training in this area. I am told that I could become proficient in the use of this energy and that doing so would actually facilitate my spirit commuication.
It's a pity that my co-author wasn't guided to use this natural gift of his in life. It's really quite impressive.
The next card, from the Star Fire suit, represents the Angel Verchiel. This angel rules over issues of courage, leadership, and loyalty. (Reoccuring theme throughout this divintion) He/she rules over the sign of Leo. The angel advises proceeding boldly but not haphazardly. Wasted energy will detract from good results.
The Quintessence suit yields a card representing two angels: Sadriel and Eth. Sadriel is the angel of order and Eth the angel of time. These are two things I need more of in my life, also the ability to organize my time optimally. I have invited these angels to work with me on these areas of my life.
Finally, the sacred flame suit yields the card representing the Macrocosm. This is the card of magical and spiritual alchemy and physically speaking represents the third eye. For a medium or other magician it advises balances between the physical and spiritual worlds and indicates to me that I should indeed continue developing these abilities and fear neither them nor the myriad of naysayers that may wish to make themselves feel bigger through trying to make others feel smaller. I need to continue developing my spiritual abilities and other gifts will be revealed to me.
To end the divination, this was the daily prayer from the Pocket Prayers deck:
The morning arrives
And the song of a bird comes undone
I imagine for the first time in my life
That its wings
Are my own
--Corinne De Winter
For me this was a reminder that I'm not just a flesh-android who will cease to exist when my circuits cease to function. The body is a cocoon and when the time comes to leave it, we will fly free. But we will still be bound to the Earth sphere until our lessons are learned. Learning spiritual lessons while in the flesh will allow us to fly free in spirit when we ae freed from the confines of our bodies.
If you think a divination of this nature would be helpful to you, the cost is $25 or the purchase of one of our books. Please visit the official website to find out more.