On Religion and Mental Illness and sympathy for the Devil

A blog friend of mine who also suffers from bipolar is going through a tough spot in this holly jolly fucking season. She had this to say regarding her family:
They all belong to 2 schools of thougth: 1) If you have a mental illness it’s because you aren’t a Christian & will be al better if you ask Jesus into your heart. 2) Pull up your boot straps & march on!! Well, I was a Christian & experienced both mania & depression, I did as a teen, too; my point is that my mental illness was not healed when I became a Christian. The fact that they don’t acknowledge mental illness both hurts & infuriates me, yet I’m sure part of the reason they dismiss anything I say is because they’d say I’m mentally ill.
I was inspired to reply:
I know just what you mean about the Christian thing. I was raised Catholic. With all love and respect due to the wonderful, benevolent, enlightened soul Jesus, I cannot stand the dogma of the Christian churches. I first attempted suicide while I was still a devout Catholic. I got a lot of the Bootstrap philosophy growing up too. Best not tell anyone you have mental problems or you’ll never get a job. Nobody wants to hire a nut case. Believe me, I heard it often. Well, fuckemall!

I didn't mention this because it wasn't relevant to the post, but I have also gotten this gem from both Christians and New Age types:
Mental illness is caused by demons. If you just exorcise the demons, you'll be ok.
I actually believe in the existence of demons. However, it's like giving coffee to a drunk. What you have is an awake drunk. If you exorcise a mentally ill person, what you have is a mentally ill person who is freed from the influence of demons for a time. They are still mentally ill.
Demons tend to seek out those whose auras are weakened, and the self-esteem deficits that come part and parcel with mental illness open weak spots in the aura and put out a welcome sign for the demons, who then proceed to mentally torture the unfortunate soul. This is why flirting with the darker sides of mysticism tend to be dangerous from anyone who suffers from mental illness. While a perfectly mentally stable and highly adept magician might be able to have a positive experience conversing with a demon, most of us would be advised to avoid such discourses.
Unfortunately, the Dark Arts tend to draw persons who are mentally unstable (myself included in my younger days) because a) our life has been shit in many ways and b) we want a positive change and FAST, and the more benevolent magicks tend to take longer to work.
It was my son who postulated Satan as a positive force as far as the workings of the Universe, but one to be reckoned with very cautiously. He stated that in his view, Satan is a trickster deity. He presents people with temptations and answers their wishes. However, if these wishes are selfish in nature (which the majority of them are) they will lead to the downfall of the person making the wish.
Satan, by the way, does not possess people. He has no need to do so. People will fuck themselves over quite well all on their own. It is various minor demons that possess people. These feed on the misery of their victim.
As trickster deities go, I once called on Loki to shake things up in my incredibly miserable life. I was 23 and had been in a severe depression for about a year. I felt I had nothing to lose. Fortunately, for whatever reason, Loki seems to be kindly disposed towards me. I don't ask him for anything unless I really mean it. I am inclined to believe that he may have played a part in bringing me into partnership with a certain Norse spectre with whom I write books.
The mills of the Gods grind slow, but they grind exceeding fine.

A replica of a carving of the god Loki featured on a stone furnace shield. Loki is the patron gods of blacksmiths. If you are a blacksmith or just like Loki, get your stone shield here.
The only thing that could make it cooler is if Loki would autograph it. Because I'm a doofus I can just see this: "Best wishes to my friend so and so from Loki."

The Satanic Panics and the Development of My Spirituality

This is a response to my friend Mago's comments on my last post.
These accusations of Satanism against anyone who isn't a Christian certainly are anti-enlightenment. I used to attend the Unitarian church in my 20's because it didn't have any of the "Bible-thumpin'" that comes with most Judeo-Christian churches, but I stopped going there because of the scoffing attitude about anything spiritual in their case. I personally believe that there isn't only the life and death of the body, but that certain forces survive physical death and there are certain forces that modern science cannot yet measure. However, I did learn some good lessons in my time there. One minister talked about how as a child growing up in a Southern Baptist church, he was actually told that too much knowledge was a bad thing. God did not want humans having too much knowledge. Many narrow-minded people still subscribe to this unenlightened point of view and are greatly afraid of anyone who doesn't want to.
I was in high school when the "Satanic Panics" in the 1980's were in full swing. It is evident to me now that this was an American epidemic. Anyone who listened to "the devil's music," aka hard rock, was of course killing babies, puppies and kittens on the side. Not to mention the orgies we had. Boy howdy! We would spread the blood of our victims over our naked bodies and have sex all night!
NOT!
We did drink a lot of beer and smoke a lot of weed, though.
Honestly, I wasn't even a Pagan at the time that I was accused of being a Satanist. I was a church-going Catholic! A church-going Catholic that loved rock music. But I was also one rebel spirit, and I figured if I were going to be accused of being a Satanist, I might as well check it out. Not that I ever sacrificed anything, mind. Any blood used in my ceremonies was my own.
I'm a bit reluctant to discuss it, but I got the hell scared out of me quite early on and demons attempted to possess me during weak times in my life from that point on until 2005 when my spectral friend and co-author came along and started chasing them away. However, in spite of my fear that I was going to hell, I could no longer bear the intolerance of the Christian religion that I had grown up with, and began investigating Wicca when I was seventeen after a friend did a Tarot reading for me. He was not the sharpest tool in the shed, but he was able to give me an incredibly accurate reading, and I was intrigued. I found the Pagan path to be one of peace and enlightenment where you could explore many possibilities. Sadly, I have in my time met more than one intolerant Wiccan, and this is why I am a solitary practitioner and a student of all religions. I have raised a son who is open-minded, tolerant, and fortunately, free of the bonds of guilt and fear that still affect me at various times in my life. He certainly would not have gotten a hurt feeling at being accused of Satanism by some narrow-minded mutton-head. He would have laughed at them. So it would appear that in this troubled life of mine, I have managed to do one thing right.
So I thank you for your comment on the last post, because it gave me this opportunity to explain a little more about myself and my beliefs. Sometimes I find that hard to do in an honest way.

The Big Judgment

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Organized religion and the judgmental bullcrap that walks hand in hand with it. It continues to drive a wedge between people and I find it very sad. Of course I came under attack as expected by the so kind fundie faction when I stated that there are more things in this Universe than Christianity and Satanism. One Fundie had this tolerant thing to say. My sarcastic commentary is in italics. Yes, it's childish. But all this is unbelievably stupid, and I am dismayed that it is still going on in the 21st century.

As much as we may not want to accept it or hear it, Wicca, goddess worship, tarot etc. is used as a cover for Satanism.
Yes, Anonymous, I have a secret stash of the bodies of those I have sacrificed to Satan in my basement. Please--don't let the fact that I don't even have a basement dissuade you from this belief! I'm sure it makes your boring, pathetic life far more interesting than it otherwise would be. In fact, all Wiccans have a dungeon in which they keep all their sacrificial victims. But somehow we are never caught by the law. Because guess what--they're part of it too! Yes, me and Constable Clancy and the rest are sacrificing your good Christian ilk even as I type this. Which fails to explain why the churches are still full every Sunday. You'd think we'd have whittled your congregation way down by now with all the sacrifices we do.
The leaders of the harmless nature worshipers/ goddess worshipers are the leaders of the cult as well. I know this to be true. Most occult groups practice a degree system of initiation.
What the fuck are you going on about, you twat? Most wiccans are actually solitary practitioners. Who the fuck are we going to initiate--ourselves??
You learn more and more as you go but things are kept secret from the lower degrees.
I'm so excited that I'm finally going to teach myself the secret Satanic practices this saturday at midnight. I just can't wait! I'll have to sacrifice SIX of the old folks I tend to for this one! Funny how I've never been caught sacrificing the people that are put in my care. I'm a slick one, so I am!
Satanism does the same thing, depending upon the level of programming and worthiness. So, go ahead, and deny and believe the cock and bull story we are fed today, "nature worship" or harmless fun with cards and ouija boards. And while the people sleep, it won't change one iota the truth of what is shared here.
No, while the people sleep I'm going to come sacrifice them. Because it's what I do.

This was my reply to the blog owner, who is a victim of satanic ritual abuse and therefore has reasons to think what she does and is also why I will not reveal a link to her because I don't wish for people to attack her. Damn evil of me that. Ah well. It is far from the first time that something like this has happened. But I will not kowtow. I have to speak what I believe is the truth.

The sad thing is that the intolerance of people like Anonymous are what drive people apart from each other. I can assure people until I'm blue in the face that I am certainly not part of some "satanic cult" and none of you lot will believe a word of it. I have never sacrificed an animal to any power and would not deal with powers that require such. I do read Tarot cards and I happen to believe that there are more of deities than just the Christian god and anti-god. I think I try to do good in this world. I am neither a christian nor a satanist. In fact Satan is a Christian anti-deity, and I don't have any use for him. I don't mind calling myself a Pagan. I am not an evil person. I do not rape children or sacrifice babies and deplore such actions. I don't think that you're a prejudiced individual and what you say is true for you. It's sad that it brings out the hate and narrow-mindedness in some people.

I don't think I'll be back because I imagine my presence is uncomfortable for you. I'm sorry. I hope one day people will learn that actions are what tell the truth, not what religious path one follows.

As Angus Young (himself accused of being a "satan worshipper" more than once) said, the real Satan is intolerance. Right on, Angus. And rock on.

Things like this are why I despise organized religion. Organized religion has contributed to a lot more deaths than some harmless person picking herbs and calling on the gods and goddesses for a blessing in their miserable lives.
It may not be legal to burn witches at the stake now--but some people sure would like it to be, as you can plainly see.
I have this idea that's a real grin. How about we elect me for president after Barack Obama has served his TWO terms? Wouldn't that be a hoot? A fat old Pagan with bipolar disorder in the Oval Office. Pat Buchanan and his ilk would have an aneurysm for sure.
Tarot readings, AC/DC tunes and mead for all! That's my platform. Vote for me, won't you?
Or at least give me a scratch behind the ears. Because I'm feeling pretty glum right now. Intolerance blows. Maybe I'll go out and sacrifice one of my neighbors to pick my mood up. Because that's what we mostly harmless Pagans do in the minds of the so-good (intolerant) Christians.
Yeah, I eat meat. But so do most of them. Think that Jerry Falwell got that pork belly of his chowing down on leaves and sprouts? I think he was eating members of the congregation!
I want to meet that bastard in hell and give him a full body slam. He bilked my grandmother out of literally thousands of dollars sending her that bullshit about how Satan was taking over the world and the only way he could be stopped is if good Christians sent their money to Jerry. Isn't bilking old folks out of their security checks a sin? Bastard!
There's another thing that this "evil" pagan has never done. Bilking old folks out of their money. Damn this conscience of mine! I could be rich if I just postured as a born again Christian preacher and told everyone to send me their money to save their souls.
Man...if that ain't a ticket to hell on the Bullet Express, I sure don't know what is!
Ah well...guess I'll just keep on being a pariah. At this I seem to excel. Now excuse me while I go back to eating the hearts of the innocent and reading my blood-stained tarot cards.
Lily
the eternally despised

Disagreeing With Respect

I will not be linking to the post that I made these comments on because I don't want anyone attacking the person who made them. However, she made some statements that I felt were very black and white about certain things that were good and evil and I didn't agree. She mentioned Ouija boards, Tarot cards and channeling as ways for the Devil to get in and steal your soul. So here is what I said:

I must respectfully disagree about certain of these things. I don't believe that the Universe is quite as black and white that there is only one positive deity and one force of evil. That there is a force of good and a force of evil is true, in my view, but there are gray areas. I did dabble in the dark arts in my youth and got the hell scared out of me, which is a good thing, because there are demonic forces that would have been more than glad to f**k me over even worse than I already was. However, I haven't experienced much of good from Christianity or at least the folks that practice it. I've been confronted with a lot of judgment and narrow viewpoints that I can do without. Which is to say nothing against Jesus Christ, who I have nothing but admiration for. I did not have very many positive experiences messing about with the Ouija board, so I stopped doing it. However, for me, reading Tarot cards has been pretty well nothing but positive. I just think it's a little too black and white to say "all this is good and all this is bad." There are some things that are gray areas and can be used either way.

I didn't say this in the comment, but I'll say it here. I don't channel for the same reason that I don't use the Ouija board. In my case, there is a weakness in my psyche that allows some nasties to invite themselves in through these passages, so I ain't gonna do it. This is not to say that either channeling or Ouija boards are in and of themselves evil, just that for someone whose defenses aren't extremely strong, they can open doors for some real asshole entities.

The spirits that I communicate with do NOT come into my body. They "talk" to me just as anyone in a body would, except that they communicate through thought and feeling rather than a voice. When allowing my co-author to "speak" through me, I will go into a conscious trance if he has a lot to say. But he does not control my thoughts or actions in any way. And he does not in fact wish to do so. He has never asked to do so. In fact when he initially met me, I was very prone to attempts from demonic entities to possess me. I would wake at times speaking in a guttural voice that I didn't understand and thrashing about, clawing at the air. I was not able to control this. This has only happened once since meeting him, and he returned quickly and chased the would-be possessor away.

There was only one occasion when I first met my co-author where I was very tired. I was resting in my parents' basement, and there was in the past a doorway that energies had been coming through into the house. In defending me from one of these entities, the "Dead" personality briefly ended up in my body, and he was more unsettled by the experience than I was. He hadn't intended for it to happen and was profusely apologetic. He leapt out as if he'd been a cat that had fallen into water and "looked" about as frazzled when I saw him in my mind. Except that he was so rattled, I would have found the whole thing rather funny.

Just in case anyone is interested, this particular personality does not especially care for being called Dead at this point. He says that "it's a little bit obvious, isn't it?" Furthermore, he considers it to have been an unfortunate choice of nicknames, all things considered. However, he's aware that this is how everyone knows him, so he isn't especially insistent on fighting the tide. He says that he may become more so as time goes on, and somewhat likes the name "Shadow." He half jokingly says that "I will most probably reincarnate as my own relative, and will revive the music that I in this life wrote. So again I shall be stuck with this idiot name that I gave to myself. Now, here is proof that the Universe or what have you has a very wicked sense of humor."

All this being said, I don't have any reason to slam the beliefs of others. However, I think a bit of education is necessary. The Universe is not black and white. There are shades of gray to be certain, and many, many other dynamic colors, energies and entities as well.

Blessed be,

Lily and Friends