Thursday, November 13, 2008

The Satanic Panics and the Development of My Spirituality

This is a response to my friend Mago's comments on my last post.
These accusations of Satanism against anyone who isn't a Christian certainly are anti-enlightenment. I used to attend the Unitarian church in my 20's because it didn't have any of the "Bible-thumpin'" that comes with most Judeo-Christian churches, but I stopped going there because of the scoffing attitude about anything spiritual in their case. I personally believe that there isn't only the life and death of the body, but that certain forces survive physical death and there are certain forces that modern science cannot yet measure. However, I did learn some good lessons in my time there. One minister talked about how as a child growing up in a Southern Baptist church, he was actually told that too much knowledge was a bad thing. God did not want humans having too much knowledge. Many narrow-minded people still subscribe to this unenlightened point of view and are greatly afraid of anyone who doesn't want to.
I was in high school when the "Satanic Panics" in the 1980's were in full swing. It is evident to me now that this was an American epidemic. Anyone who listened to "the devil's music," aka hard rock, was of course killing babies, puppies and kittens on the side. Not to mention the orgies we had. Boy howdy! We would spread the blood of our victims over our naked bodies and have sex all night!
We did drink a lot of beer and smoke a lot of weed, though.
Honestly, I wasn't even a Pagan at the time that I was accused of being a Satanist. I was a church-going Catholic! A church-going Catholic that loved rock music. But I was also one rebel spirit, and I figured if I were going to be accused of being a Satanist, I might as well check it out. Not that I ever sacrificed anything, mind. Any blood used in my ceremonies was my own.
I'm a bit reluctant to discuss it, but I got the hell scared out of me quite early on and demons attempted to possess me during weak times in my life from that point on until 2005 when my spectral friend and co-author came along and started chasing them away. However, in spite of my fear that I was going to hell, I could no longer bear the intolerance of the Christian religion that I had grown up with, and began investigating Wicca when I was seventeen after a friend did a Tarot reading for me. He was not the sharpest tool in the shed, but he was able to give me an incredibly accurate reading, and I was intrigued. I found the Pagan path to be one of peace and enlightenment where you could explore many possibilities. Sadly, I have in my time met more than one intolerant Wiccan, and this is why I am a solitary practitioner and a student of all religions. I have raised a son who is open-minded, tolerant, and fortunately, free of the bonds of guilt and fear that still affect me at various times in my life. He certainly would not have gotten a hurt feeling at being accused of Satanism by some narrow-minded mutton-head. He would have laughed at them. So it would appear that in this troubled life of mine, I have managed to do one thing right.
So I thank you for your comment on the last post, because it gave me this opportunity to explain a little more about myself and my beliefs. Sometimes I find that hard to do in an honest way.


Tom & Icy said...

The Devil says hard rock music would be okay if it had a fiddle in the band.

Anonymous said...

All these orgies, yeah ... these accusations are stone-old, and interestingly they were always used by the "ruling" religion: Guess what the Christians were accused by the Roman "heathen"? Yes, right, fucking their brains out in the speluncae they call catacombs, sacrifying virgins etc.pp., the full sermon.
The images did not change very much, it is the expression of fear from the dis-order, the anarchy, one can sort out different ideas and motives and observe how they are re-combined. The satanic mass is nothing else but a reversed (old-)catholic mass, from the cross turned around to un-understandable blabla from the book read from behind. Even sex a tergo is unchristian, id est animalic, and forbidden, so that's what the devil does to his followers.
There is a cultural thing in European tradition that is called "Verkehrte Welt" - "world turned around". It survives in some plays and in "Karneval" and in some customes: The fools take over, woman rules over man, animals get crowned etc.etc. The Satanic mass and the "Hexen-Sabbath" follow in some way this muster, this blue-print: Known gestures and symbolic deeds from the sphere of law, rule and generally the worldly and spiritual order (western and roman-catholic) are turned around. The followers do not kiss the ruler's ring, they kiss the ruler's arse. Oh yes, fornication without end - it's just an illustration of the fears of the learned dominicani who wrote the "Hexenhammer / malleus maleficarum", the first codified book on the matter.
In some way this church is a machine to arouse fear, and it still works.

There is evil in the world. I saw it and I was in panic.
But it always had a deeply and disturbing human face. Exist humans without any empathy, some give away their humanity or get it stolen.

There are forces that are greater than we humans. There is a numen. I doubt that we can know it, we can feel it. I have deep respect from these powers and I do not want to botch around in this area. There is white, there is black and a lot in between.

Barfight Bitch said...

What did you do, what made these demons come after you? Was is a ritual, or were they messing with you just because you were in a ritual?