This is thoughts channeled from me, the fellow which writes the book with Lily.
I grow up surrounded with the Demiurge. We are to worship the Demiurge but it is not refered to thus in my home. It is refered to as God. I do not go much into the dynamics of my home, only that there is much to be unhappy about. My father is a priest of the Demiurge, but again, he believes that this is god and not only A god but GOD!!!! With capital letters and neon sign light and stars all around thank you very fucking much. And you must WORSHIP THIS FUCKER or get your ass kicked to the depths of hell!!!
I find I do not care for the Demiurge very much.
Understand that in life I do not know this name. I do know the names of many gods but not this name. I make the choice to worship Satan at a time, but it is not really much of worship that goes in so much as spouting words to try and make myself look "bad." (to my embarrassment I find out later that really I do not look that "bad," more like I have distemper or such.) But now it is understood thus. I did not so much "worship Satan" as I spit in the face of what is called god, for I think this god to be a FUCKING ARSEHOLE!!!! Turns out I am right.
There is another personality in my soul whom would talk to you much friendlier about all this. I see not reason to. My anger and misery can be much attributed to the fuckery of this church I am raised in, that still is a major entity in this world and leads many otherwise fine people to believe they are going to burn in some sort of hell, to be trapped into misery because they cannot swallow the poison of the false prophecy of the BLIND, INSANE GOD! Some choose to believe that this is a benevolent god, but while there is benevolent gods, this Demiurge is not one.
The church of christianity worships the Demiurge whether they believe this is whom they worship or no. The laws of this being blinds all and has not mercy. I do not encounter it following my death, I avoid it. It does not send me to hell. What hells there are does not make room for fools, as I make my own hell in my heart it is already took care of. We do incounter the creator energy, and this is what some thinks they worship when they step foot into the church of christianity. If you truly worship this, and if you truly think you shall live in the footsteps of the man Jesus, then you must abandon this church, for it shall lead you astray. The church which says it worships the ideals of this man Jesus does not, in fact, in any ways resemble. He was a teacher and a person of kind thought and not twisted with hate and judgment and a belief of being superior to others. These is the ways of the Demiurge but many will continue to be seduced into his church and fooled.
Why anybody would wish to feed the power lust of this creature any longer is not so mystifying. They are afraid and seduced. I have saw the eyes of such people. It leads someone with a mind sickened by things I do not care to discuss into the folly of calling demons upon themself. The demons of the hells feed the demons of my mind and I believe they had plenty of joy to feed off as I kill my body in a terribly violent fashion filled with hate of my self at the moment of death. But not only hate. Such terrible, terrible dispair. At such a time, believe me, the Demiurge turns his arse to you! Oh, it is all well and good to frighten the sunday church goers with a bit of a Satanic dance, but in the end the soul is also left empty if you worship a god of emptiness. It would have been more fulfilling if I had done so with a bit more mirth. But I was eaten up inside with sorrows and horrors of the mind. My sleep was twisted in nightmare and my heart broken and torn apart, something living dead, rotting yet still bleeding. Demons danced in my dreams and I knew not peace. This church which was forced upon me, it brought not peace but more of terror.
I do not recommend worshiping the anti-god or what have you simply so you are worshiping "not the demiurge." If you call to you negative energy then it will fall into the empty pockets of your soul and destroy you. Already I had enough evil in my life. But if you have wondered if the church you have been brain washed to attending is full of shit, then the answer is yes. Will the Demiurge make your life miserable if you depart? Perhaps. It all depends how strong your psyche is to resist. Mine was not very much so. My friend who channels this words of me from beyond the grave is also not very much so. Whom gods destroy they first make mad, it is said. She is unhappy and fears. I lived a life fully fear-filled, which ends only making a stupid tongue twister. Filled with demons and ugly images. In death I work to erase some of this. I do not wish to be born to a new life schizophrenic or such. First before being reborn I must understand and heal.
I am fine in my next life to worship the old gods. In the end both the demiurge and the anti-god will shit on you and eat your soul if you let them.
Yes, still Dead.
Suicide will not let you escape who and what you are.