Wednesday, May 24, 2006

The Rainbow

Last Wednesday evening while walking the dogs, I saw one of the most amazing rainbows that I've ever seen. There had been a short cloudburst and when we were walking towards the east I noticed a grand rainbow that extended all the way across the horizon in a gorgeous arc. The colors were very vivid and I saw something that I'd never seen before--the end of the rainbow. I could see it descending onto the hillside and could see the houses through it on the other side. I didn't think this was possible.
It was then that I noticed a second, faint rainbow right above and before the brilliant rainbow. And between the two was a patch of indigo sky. It looked as though if one were actually able to walk through this gateway, one would find themselves in a world in which all their fondest dreams had suddenly come true. I marveled at this and even though I knew I'd never make it through that gateway I wondered: what if it were possible? What if somehow everything I ever dreamed could happen if I walked through the gateway?
It was such a marvelous thought that even when the rainbow faded and my chance was gone, I remained entranced for some time.
There are times when I'm dismayed and feel trapped by my situation. Although I believe that great things are possible there are certain things that I have no idea how to do. On the miraculous level, what if I could somehow go back in time and make it so that a loved one had never died or find a wormhole so that person could be brought back to have another chance? Why does the positive magick I perform take so long to deliver results when those who do negative work often get very quick result? (But always with a dire price to pay in the end, mind. There actually is an answer to this that is the subject for another post.) Why do greedy and selfish people sometimes have so much while decent hardworking people sometimes work hard all their lives just to scrape by? Why are rude, judgmental people often popular?
Sometimes I dismay at having been given bipolar disorder in this life. It makes me wonder if all my emotions aren't simply a reaction given me by my hyperactive limbic system rather than being genuine feelings. Sometimes I look at the amazing mountains where I live and feel as if I am trapped in a great pit. I want to fly away and see the rest of the world. I want to see the oceans, to see the places where other people live, to meet people on the other side of the world. I believe it can come true. But when? I want to do it before I'm too old to truly enjoy it. I want to know the feeling of being free. I don't want to waste any more time!
The rainbow gateway shone on the other side of the police impound yard, which is right behind the mobile home park where I live.
I wonder what would have happened if I had been able to walk through?
Blessed be,


jumpinginpuddles said...

ok this will sound stupid but thats stupid as stupid does hey. But when i see a rainbow i see so much yearning to find the end that sometimes ive tried to follow it and youve said nearly the same thing :O we arent alone and we all search for that elusive rainbow:D

cheesemeister said...

I guess all our lives we will be chasing elusive dreams. And maybe sometimes we will actually catch one?

Tom & Icy said...

Those kind of wishful dreams are just our minds filling in the blanks of what we don't know about it. When we get over there we find the grass is not any greener nor the sky more blue. It saddens us to discover our dreams are only what we wish things would be like. When our eyes see things we wonder why and when our mind sees things, we wonder why not?

cheesemeister said...

Seems like what we see and what we wish to see are often not the same thing. This seems a sad fact of being human.
I do try to find things to be grateful about every day though. And I hope to be able to keep those things!

weirsdo said...

Not to worry. I think all emotions are products of hyperactive limbic systems.

cheesemeister said...

I wonder if Soggy has a limbic system!