Tuesday, April 08, 2008
When certain very traumatic events take place, they leave a psychic imprint. My co-author committed suicide on April 8 1991. Since meeting him in August of 1995, I have experienced varying degrees of ghost sickness when this date approaches. This year it has taken the form of high anxiety. In 2006 on this date I literally thought I was going to die. I vomited rather violently a couple of times and felt dreadfully dizzy. Last year wasn't bad because we focused our energies elsewhere by sending the book in for publication on this dread date. No book this year, so, oh fuck, here we go again. It isn't as bad as it was in 2006 but I am still not having a great time. A few days ago I had a panic attack so severe that I was afraid I might have to go to the ER. I am not sure how much of this was triggered by the opening of these particular energies.
I wish to impart that neither my co-author nor any other spirit is trapped in a psychic tape loop reliving an incident such as this repeatedly. He tells me that he in fact has never been back to the location in which it took place. Following the initial traumatic incident he returned to the location for a couple of weeks (in part, he says, to engage in a modicum of poltergeist activity against his former not very beloved roommate) but realized fairly quickly that doing so was not in any way useful and so resolved to never return to that place. The energy of the incident, however, will remain until such time as the difficulties that drove him to the act are healed. And this can take a very long time. Sometimes a person will even encounter an incident of trauma from a past life. The traumatic fallout from this incident could be around long after my co-author has reincarnated. If he were to return to this place in a future life he would experience a great deal of discomfort and might in essence "meet himself" although nothing of his personality actually remains there, only the energies from the very strong emotional state surrounding his death.
The place where the incident happened is not a good one. The energies there are very negative, and were before this incident. It is a gateway to the lower astral. Anyone who is very sensitive to energies AND prone to depression (someone like my co-author) should avoid such a place. He in fact had friends who told him that the place wasn't healthy and he should move away from it. Sadly, his mindset and circumstances were such that he did not take action in this regard. While there are many things which contributed to his unfortunate decision to take his own life, the energies in the place where he was living did not help. Lower astral beings thrive on energies of misery and depression and found someone like him (a troubled person who is also a psychic sensitive) an easy target.
The memories and emotions of relatives come into play as well on the anniversary of an untimely death of this nature, as does the remorse of the spirit themselves. While he has a greater understanding of his psyche than he did at the time he took his life, he still has issues that he is dealing with and he feels a great deal of remorse for bringing pain upon others. Although my co-author had something of a notorious image, he has apologized profusely to me every time sensing the energies surrounding this date cause me distress. It isn't his fault that I'm a psychic sponge and he wouldn't be able to talk to me so readily if I weren't. But there is still a lot of work to be done.
My friend jokes that he's not sure if his musical tastes have evolved or mutated in the years since his demise, but he has developed a strong liking for the blues and for music with tones such as are found in Celtic and Australian aboriginal music. The didgeridoo actually vibrates at the same level as a discarnate spirit, so most human spirits find it pleasant.
We were listening to this song the other night and he said that he liked it and asked if I would include it if I made a collection of songs for him like I did last year. Of course I will, and I'll put it here too.
In spite of the annual psychic hell, I'm very glad I met this friend (although sometimes it sucks that he's invisible to me) and I hope we'll be able to create many more things together. He helps make my life bearable. I've never exactly been a ray of sunshine myself.
Robin Trower plays Bridge of Sighs
For my dear friend and co-author
January 16, 1969-April 8, 1991
I know you're restless, but may you find peace and comfort and know that you have friends here.
My co author wants to leave a note so anything after this point is quoted verbatim from him.
Note from the spooky bastard:
Thank you, I appreciate it. What I like about this song is it is soothing, like being rocked on an ocean. Unlike some people this does not make me throw up--Lily.
Also it helps if you do not have to drink water, not so fun to be in the middle of the ocean with only salt water to drink, then you may join me sooner than you think.
Also with the song, hell of great guitar work. Everybody fantasizes of playing guitar but I never could, my fingers tied into knots when I try so this does not work too well.
Thank you for putting up with me. This year is better than the past. So no more of this anxiety shit. I would not like to have to hurt you!
Only kidding. We must say for those that insists to take everything literal.
If you read this we wish to you to remember to keep an open mind as a consipation in the head is not very pleasant and causes your thoughts to be shit. Also, keep guns away from your head especially if depressed. If you do what you may be thinking of you cannot take it back and believe me even I wished I could, even as fucking miserable as I was in that moment. There is no rewind, no take back, no re-play. I have much I wish to impart but cannot of my own accord do so any longer. While I enjoy and appreciate my partnership with my living friend, it would be much more fun if we could also look at each other. Not to give you some sickening sweet tommorow is another day crap but if you are thinking to do it think twice and think again. Not false hope only reality.
Good wishes to you and also positive energies.
Yes, this from me. If you do not care for such things, the problem is not mine. But for those which accept, the offer stands.